Before I drown
by FireAndIce123
Summary: Azula wanted so much more than the life they had prepared for her, but stuck on the biggest ship the Fire Nation has ever built, it felt as if her whole future had been planned out by someone else. Is it too late to escape? Titanic AU. Entry for Azulaweek2018.


'I don't get where all the fuss is about,' Azula said. 'It doesn't look a lot bigger than our previous warships.'

'It's not that much bigger - but it's not a warship, my dear,' Chan said. 'It's for passengers only.'

Azula wasn't sure if that was supposed to make her like the ship better. In her eyes, only warships carried any meaning.

'So the colonization will be able to go more quickly,' she said.

Chan nodded enthusiastically. 'The Fire Nation will be able to repopulate the entire world,' he said. 'Starting with the Earth Kingdom.'

They first had to capture the Earth Kingdom, Azula thought. She knew that wasn't happening anytime soon. As a woman, she was forbidden attend war meetings. Luckily, her father didn't believe in that and had recognized Azula as his most promising child, allowing her to be present at all occasions. Still, her ideas were often ignored by other men.

Azula knew that she could take down Ba Sing Se if they just gave her a chance. She was the most intelligent person in that room and the most capable bender.

Her father had even told her he would pronounce her his official heir one day - but for now, that day seemed far away. Women had only been allowed in the army for two years and it wasn't very popular just yet. The firebending academies for girls were attracting more students every year though, so that was promising.

Azula would change the world, she had promised herself. A world where women and men could be equals.

'You alright, my dear?' Chan asked.

Azula plastered a fake smile on her face. 'Of course,' she responded. She softly touched the hat on her head. She didn't like it, nor did she like the enormous dress she was wearing. It was impossible to fight, to firebend in it - but her mother had told her she would have to wear it on an occasion like this.

Azula wished she was home, able to wear her armor, to discuss with her father and to train. Instead, she would be locked up on this boat for more about a week, together with her mother, several annoying generals and the fiance she despised.

'Everyone ready?' Ursa asked.

Azula sighed before she nodded. Chan presented her arm and she was forced to take it as they walked towards the ship.

0o0o0o

'Aren't these rooms wonderful?' Ursa exclaimed.

Azula crossed her arms in front of her chest, placing her weight on one hip. They were horrible, she thought, their decorations too frivolous and playful. She felt her upper lip curl at the thought of having to spend an entire week her.

'Are these all part of the royal suite?' Chan asked.

Ursa nodded. 'We're the only ones allowed to use them,' she said. 'So from now on, we'll always be able to travel in style.'

'Excuse me,' Azula said, not able to witness the scene any longer. She retreated into her room, happy to have a bit of solitude, even though she knew it would only be a short moment. Ursa represented everything Azula didn't want to be - content with her indoor life and happy to obey her husband and the rules society placed on her.

Azula had packed her armor, but her mother had it removed before they left. Ozai had send a pitiful glare Azula's way, but he didn't intrude. He probably didn't feel like having another fight with his wife.

No, Azua thought, she had been wrong. Ursa was many things, but not an obedient wife. Only on the surface, but she always found a way to disobey him in secret.

'Are you ready to explore the ship?' Chan asked, having followed her into her room. Azula wasn't sure what to answer. She didn't want to spend more time with Chan, but on the other hand - her corset made breathing a little more difficult than it ought to be and she could really use some fresh air.

'You two lovebirds can go, but make sure to be in time for dinner,' Ursa said. 'Azula, be there around six - you need to change in an evening dress before we can leave.'

0o0o0

Evening dresses were even more uncomfortable than normal dresses. They made her feel weak - like a little girl, whereas her armor made her feel like a warrior.

The generals present on this initiation trip looked at her. They weren't used to seeing her like this, dressed up by her mother. She said they only admired her beauty, but Azula didn't want to be admired for something as arbitrary as her appearance. She wanted to be admired for the things she had worked for - her fighting prowess, her intellectual skills.

So she made sure that she looked were extra ferocious tonight. Azula knew she could take each and every one of these generals in battle - and she made sure they wouldn't forget it.

They had brought their wives as well. Azula tried to listen to the war-related conversations the men had, but instead, she could only hear her mother's voice as she inquired at newborn babies and old family members. They spoke of parties they would organize and gossiped about other women in the capital.

Azula could suddenly see her entire life. She would be like her mother - attending parties, drinking tea and gossiping, whereas Chan would get to talk about politics and war. It would be an endless parade of meaningless parties.

That moment, Azula was sure her father would never name her his heir. She only had to look at these men - they would never accept a woman as their head of state. And in the end, her father had to listen to these men. He might be Firelord, but he still needed the approval of the nobles.

'Excuse me,' Azula suddenly said, standing up.

'Where are you going?' Ursa asked. She looked up at Azula with a discontented frown on her face.

'I'm not feeling too well,' Azula said. 'I just need a bit of fresh air, that's all.'

'Do you want me to accompany you?' Chan asked.

'No, sweetheart, you can stay,' Azula said. 'I won't be gone for too long.'

As she walked away, she could hear her mother's voice. 'They make _such_ a nice couple.'

Azula left the restaurant, feeling the colder evening air on her skin. She started to walk faster, wanting to create as much distance between herself and the restaurant. She eventually started to run, away from those people that seemed to symbolise her entire world, her entire future.

It didn't seem like a very bright future.

Azula kept running until she reached the very end of the ship. She stopped to grab the railing, looking out over the sea. She could feel the cold, but it didn't bother her. She was firebender - she could heat herself at will.

It was beautiful, she had to admit it. The full moon was reflected on the water and Azula could see more stars than she could see on the Fire Nation, since there was a lot less light here.

In a nation full of firebenders, there was always a lightsource present.

Azula kept staring at the water. Cold and unforgiving, but also predictable. If she fell into the water, no one would find her again and she would die.

She would die before her engagement party with Chan, planned only a few days after they had returned to the capital. She would die as herself - as a fiere princess, not as 'the wife of'.

She would be free. In the spirit world, everyone was equal, Iroh had once told her.

Azula hadn't noticed she had held her breath, but she know released it, extinguishing the small torches around her.

It was now completely dark.

Azula pulled up her dress, enabling her to step on the railing. She was so clumsy in these ridiculous clothes, she might actually fall. She climbed over the railing, placing her feet on the lowest bar on the outside of the ship.

She only had to jump - and she would know peace.

Azula stretched her arms, ready to jump.

'Wait.'

She almost let go of sheer shock.

'Who are you?' she asked.

'My name's Sokka,' the boy said. Azula couldn't see a lot with just the light of the moon, but he seemed to be a few years older than she was.

'I don't know why I asked that - I don't care who you are. Just leave me alone,' Azula said.

'I… don't think that's a good idea.'

Azula huffed. 'I don't care what you think.'

She noticed that he tried to come closer. 'Stay where you are. Don't come any closer - or I'll let go.'

He raised his arms in a gesture of surrender. 'Fine. What's your name?'

There was no way she was going to tell him that.

'I was actually handling some pretty important business here, so if you could leave me to it...'

There was a short silence.

'I am from the Watertribe,' he suddenly said. Azula frowned, not having expected him to start telling her his life story.

'I'm used to the cold,' Sokka said. 'But even to me, the winter's there are extremely harsh. That's why we try to hunt a lot in the autumn, to make sure we have some supplies for when there's a true storm and we have to stay inside. My dad and I always went icefishing…'

Azula's looked at him questingly, not understanding why he was telling her this. If he tried her from stopping to jump, telling her boring stories was no way to make her climb back…

'Icefishing is…' Sokka started.

'I know what icefishing is!' she interrupted him.

'Sorry,' Sokka said. 'You don't seem like the… nevermind. So one time, I wasn't careful enough and I fell in a hole, created by an animal. And I can tell you - the water was so cold. It felt like millions of knives entering your body…'

Azula looked at him. She hadn't thought about that. She wasn't too afraid of pain, but as a Firebender, she didn't enjoy the cold. She hated it, to be frank.

'So that's why I'm not looking forward to having to jump after you,' Sokka continued.

'Don't be so stupid,' Azula said. 'The fall alone will probably kill you.'

'Only if you're lucky,' Sokka responded. 'It will hurt, I won't deny it - but not nearly as much as that water.'

Azula looked at him. She prided herself on being good at reading people and he seemed very genuine, even if she was quite sure he couldn't be that stubborn.

'I was actually hoping you would spare me that,' he said.

He was so close she could actually see the colour of his eyes now. They were blue - but not icy blue, the colour of the ocean near the Fire Nation capital on a summer day.

She had never seen anyone with that colour before. It was beautiful.

'Come on,' Sokka said. 'You don't really want to do it.'

'What do you know about what I want?' Azula asked. 'You don't know me.'

'If you really wanted to die, you would've jumped already,' Sokka said. 'What you want is a solution for your problems.'

Azula wanted to retort, but she realised he was right. She hesitantly exchanged her hand towards him.

His face lit up in a happy grin. He truly was very handsome, Azula thought, as he helped her to turn, so they faced each other right now.

'Sokka,' he said. 'But I believe I already introduced myself.'

Azula smiled.

'I guess you're not going to tell me your name?' he asked.

'Not a chance,' she whispered and Sokka smiled.

'Come on,' he said.

Azula placed her foot on the next sport of the railings, but she had forgotten about her ridiculous dress.

The fabric was beneath her feet, making her slip. If it weren't for Sokka, she would've fallen.

The sea that seemed to be her only solution minutes ago, was no beneath her, cold and menacing, a horrible death.

'Hold on!' Sokka said.

Azula's heart was racing on her throat. She wouldn't go like this. She suddenly realised Sokka had been right - she wouldn't have jumped. She had some many things she wanted to do, to accomplish.

Being here, she now realised all her problems could've been solved.

No, she wouldn't die today.

Azula grabbed one of the sports, pulling herself up. Sokka made a surprised sounds as he helped her over the railing.

'You're strong,' he said, looking at her in surprise.

'Yes, I am.'

0o0o0o0

'I wanted to thank you, for what you did,' Azula said. She wasn't someone who thanked people a lot, but that was mostly because she didn't often have a reason to.

With Sokka, it was different. She wanted to see him again, no matter what and if that meant thanking him… it wasn't that difficult, she had realised. Because she meant it.

'Any time,' Sokka responded.

Azula looked at him and suddenly felt the need to defend herself. Because for one reason or another, she cared about what he thought about her. 'Look, I know what you must be thinking… poor little rich girl, what does she know about being unhappy?'

'That was not what I was thinking,' Sokka responded. 'What I was thinking was - why does this girl think there's no hope left.'

Azula stared at ime. He seemed so genuine, so truly interested in her. No one ever asked her what she wanted.

'I…' She hesitated before she showed him her engagement ring.

'Wow, that thing's huge,' Sokka said. 'You would've sank right away.'

Azula send him an annoyed look.

'If you don't want to marry the guy, don't marry him,' Sokka said. 'Easy as that.'

Azula couldn't help a small chuckle. 'You truly have no idea who I am, don't you?' she asked him.

'Of course I do, _Princess_ Azula,' Sokka said. 'But that doesn't matter - if you don't love him, you shouldn't have to marry him, royalty or not.'

'Well, it must be nice to live in a world like that…' Azula mumbled.

Sokka looked at her with worry.

'Aren't you supposed to hate me? Water Tribe and Fire Nation? Fire and water and all?'

'I don't believe in that,' Sokka responded, but Azula could tell he was lying.

'Why don't you come to dinner with me, tonight?' she asked him without thinking. 'I bet my mother would be delighted to meet a watertribe member.'

It was bit impulsive, but it would make for an interesting evening, Azula figured.

0o0o0

'You don't want to stay with the women, do you?' one of the generals asked Sokka.

'No, I think I'll have to return to my deck soon,' Sokka said.

'Good idea,' Chan said. 'We talk about politics and warfare - nothing of interest for an artist just like yourself.'

'Do you really need to go?' Azula asked him as Sokka stood up.

'I'm afraid this fairytale has to end,' Sokka said. He took Azula's hand and pressed a soft kiss on it, much to her mother's distress.

When he retreated his hand, Azula could feel paper. She tried to hide her shocked face. Sokka looked at her repeatedly as he left the restaurant.

 _Make it count. Meet me at the clock._

Azula told her mother she would retreat as well. When she saw Sokka, he smiled. 'Ready for a real party?' he asked.

Azula had never danced like that. It wasn't suitable for a princess. But the people here didn't know she was a princess - or they were too drunk to care. So she laughed and danced and for the first time in her life, she could imagine a future that wasn't filled with either war and politics or children and an unloving husband.

0o0o0o0

'You'll be my wife and you'll honour me as a wife should honour a husband. I don't care if you're royalty - I'll be as well! And you'll be a good wife to me.'

Or else? You're not even a firebender, Azula thought.

0o0o0o0

'Sokka - I can't see you anymore. I don't want to see you anymore. I am a Fire Nation, you are a Water Tribe peasant. Leave me alone.'

0o0o0o

'I changed my mind.'

Azula took a deep breath as she looked at Sokka. 'They said you might be up here…'

'Shh…'

She looked at him, scared. Was this a refusal - did he want nothing to do with her after what she had said to him?

 _Water Tribe peasant,_ she had called him.

'Give me your hand.'

Azula couldn't stop a small smile from spreading over her face as she took his hand. He softly pulled her closer. Their noses almost touched.

'Now close your eyes,' he said, smiling goofily. Azula wondered if he was going to kiss her.

She had never been kissed.

'Go on,' he said softly.

Azula closed her eyes, still smiling slightly. She expected to feel his lips any moment now, but instead he placed a hand on her back and led her forward.

'Place your foot on the first railing. Keep your eyes close. Don't peak.'

'I'm not!' Azula said.

'Do you trust me?'

Azula had never trust anyone before. People always lied to hear, betrayed her, told her things to gain her favour. It's why she had become so good at reading people.

With Sokka, she didn't feel the need to second-guess his intentions.

'I trust you,' she said and she meant it, fully, without hidden meanings.

His hands travelled to hers and he placed them in the , making them stretch as if she was a bird. 'Now, open your eyes,' he whispered in her ear as he placed his hands on her waist.

Azula opened her eyes and gasped. She was in the air, wind blowing her hair away from her face and hitting her arms and chest. She had never been so high up, had never been _so free_.

She had never been so happy, not since her childhood anyway.

'I'm an airbender,' she said without thinking.

Sokka chuckled.

'Maybe we can visit them, one day.'

Azula turned her head to look at him. 'When the ship docks… I'm getting off with you,' she said.

Sokka's eyes and grin widened. 'That's insane.'

Insane, and unprepared and foolish.

'I know,' she said.

She had never done such a thing in her life. She had always been a perfect little princess… and look where it would've gotten her.

'That's why I trust it.'


End file.
